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Joke of the Day
"Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher."
Next Joke
"My wife is addicted to goji berries but I wish she was addicted to something cheaper like cocaine."
"My wife is acting like giving me the silent treatment for four days is a bad thing."
"What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister."
"You know what they say about a man with cold hands...... No gloves."
"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."
"The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship ""I apologize"" and ""You are right."""
"I accidentally got my SO pregnant... I totally pulled a Jeb Bush."
"I used to be into necrophilia, S&M, and Bestiality... Then i realized i was beating a dead horse. *i'll let myself out*"
"I was just knocked off my bike by a stationary truck. The driver gave me a couple of sketch pads and some really cool pens to apologise."