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Joke of the Day
"You know what they say about a man with cold hands...... No gloves."
Next Joke
"Hey Buzzfeed, the only way my beard is 2% feces... ...is if I just finished eating 98% of the pussy."
"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""
"When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer"
"What did the carpet say to the floor? Don't move -- I've got you covered."
"If I could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, I would choose alive."
"What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood? ""You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"""
"She's so ugly, the fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Toilets that automatically flush before I'm done make me feel like every relationship I've ever been in."
"What did Salt 'N' Pepa say to the nosey chemist? ""It's none of your Bismuth!"" Sorry."