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Joke of the Day

"I was just knocked off my bike by a stationary truck. The driver gave me a couple of sketch pads and some really cool pens to apologise."

"So I ended up sleeping on a bench last night... ...no hobo."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex, I would ask my pimp for a raise."

"Miley Cyrus down at the post office lickin all the stamps. Mail lady says they're not even that kind of stamp anymore but Miley doesn't stop"

"""Someone called me a butterface today! Is that bad?"" ""Well it's *half* a compliment."""

"Are you assholes still playing the lottery with the numbers from Lost?"

"Whats the diffrence between a cow and 9/11 You cant milk a cow for 12 years. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^sorry"

"I've been dating a homeless woman recently and I think it's getting serious... She's asked me to move out with her..."

"Can't imagine what's it like to have no imagination."

"Why do hot girls always go for assholes? I don't even like pegging."