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Joke of the Day
"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."
Next Joke
"Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans... This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water."
"A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins... Multi-porpoise!"
"If all else fails, pretend you don't speak English."
"My doctor tells me I'm healthy enough for sexual activity...I'm just not attractive enough."
"The Problem With New Jeans I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. ""Was anything wrong with them?"" the clerk asked. ""Yes,"" I said. ""They hurt my feelings."""
"A gambler hits the jackpot *What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?* - asks his wife. ""31 black"""
"Don't steal. That's the government's job."
"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."
"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."