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Joke of the Day

"When black guys say ""ya feel me?"", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at."

"[Blazing hot day] Don't forget to take a jacket, it might get cold. ~ My mom."

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere!"

"Executioner: any last words? Me: pineapple belongs on pizza. Hit the switch"

"In every teen body-swap film there's that moment where they look in the mirror & are shocked to see an adult. That's my morning routine now."

"Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off."

"Great! My hot neighbor Karen just saw me in the toilet paper aisle at the supermarket! Now she's gonna know I shit!"

"Knifes Last night someone cut my power so I took out my knife and badly injured them. I guess you could say I was taking a stab in the dark. I'll be here all night"

"How do you stay warm outside in the winter? You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees."

"My wife is paralysed from the waist down Insensitive cunt."