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Joke of the Day

"Knifes Last night someone cut my power so I took out my knife and badly injured them. I guess you could say I was taking a stab in the dark. I'll be here all night"

"Q: What did one strawberry say to the other? A:""Look at the jam you've gotten us into!"""

"Just turned off porch light and saw a moth take off flying towards the moon. Good luck buddy, if you make it back, sell the story to Pixar."

"For job interviews, your best bet is to dress as a pizza delivery person, march in and say ""Who ordered DILIGENCE and ATTENTION TO DETAIL!?"""

"So someone decided to offer a million pounds to the first Irishman who could learn to swim... A Scotsman ended up winning."

"What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of? A Doberman puncher!"

"""Here taste this "" followed by a 32 minute speech on all the ingredients."

"NSFW What do you get when you stab a toddler with a pair of scissors? An erection."

"Dating a woman in 5 easy steps: 1. Be attentive 2. Don't be too attentive 3. Show interest 4. Don't show too much interest 5. Seek therapy"

"""You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying."" *raises megaphone to lips* How so?"