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Joke of the Day
"Watching commercials about retirement homes makes my boner reach for the stars."
Next Joke
"Don't worry if you found yourself alone on Valentines Day...its not the end of the World...that's still 10 months away."
"With his comedy career basically ruined, Bill Cosby can finally pursue another dream of his... ...coaching at Penn State"
"Wife: y is a penguin w an umbrella in the- Me:*points to dog dressed as batman* so Bark Wayne isnt bored W: M: he needs an arch enemy, Karen"
"I recently saw a documentary on different types of stationery throughout history. It was on paper-view."
"What do rednecks do for Halloween? Pump-kin"
"Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT"
"I met a pirate the other day, whose parrot was saying, ""Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!"" I said, ""Shouldn't that be pieces of eight?"" The pirate replied, ""Arrrrr, it's a parroty error."""
"After everything I put, say to yourself 'So did Michael Jackson' I went to the beach on a sunny day. I saw an ice cream stall. I bought an ice cream. It melted."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."