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Joke of the Day
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
Next Joke
"What is your best casino joke? I work in a casino and want to hear your best one. Here is mine: what's the difference between a canoe and a baccarat player? A canoe sometimes tips!"
"I have OCD and ADHD... So everything has to be just right, but only for a little while."
"I'm the guy who invented the sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop. Credit to 'flaggon' from sikipedia"
"NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks"
"An old black man goes to his vasectomy wearing a tuxedo... ...his doctor asks him ""Why are you wearing a tuxedo?"" The man responds ""If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"""
"So we're all thinking it by this point! Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F"
"If Jesus was hangin out at the WTC in the 21st century.. Would he have been killed by Pontius Pilot?"
"""i would like to propose a toast"" - slice of bread"
"Me: Hi, officer. I saw you coming up the driveway. Cop: (sadly) Your son has been in an accident. Me: I FLUSHED ALL MY DRUGS FOR THAT?!"