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Joke of the Day
"I just joined Twitter; it's really easy to follow people. Too bad it cuts into my exercise."
Next Joke
"When I order a burrito with a coffee in my hand, I imagine the cashier is thinking ""Wow, this guy must really love to shit!"""
"If someone is better at something than you, learn from them, let them teach you, or bathe in their blood so you can absorb their power."
"How did ""El Chapo"" escape prison? Joaquin."
"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ""am I being detained?"""
"What kind of fruit is also a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."
"I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!"
"Eminem's ""8 Mile"" wasn't very well received in Canada I guess the title ""12.8748 Kilometer"" just isn't as catchy."
"I can't find my lucky sweatpants. Now I'm going to totally bomb this job interview."
"Do Rabbis get paid for performing circumcisions? Nope, they just keep the tips."