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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty parking lot and a crab with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Ate too much salad today so I'm going on an Oreos cleanse tomorrow."

"What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door? Matt."

"Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path. Me: I eat like this everyday."

"Be the reason they create new laws."

"A lion walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger at hand."

"If life gives you melons. . . You probably have dyslexia."

"I was given a recipe book for roadkill recently I collected some roadkill and followed the recipe. It tasted good but I have no idea what to do with his bike."

"What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise."

"A brother and sister are having sex The sister tells her brother: You are better than dad. To which the brother replies: I know, mom told me."