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Joke of the Day
"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"
Next Joke
"IF YOU KIDS DON'T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS."
"When I'm furious at another driver I roll down my window, thrust my head out & whisper ""wow you drive really inconsiderate"" into the wind"
"What did Courtney Love say to Kurt Kobain after finding out he cheated on her? *""I'll give you one more shot""*"
"Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?"
"My favorite name for a planet is Saturn... it has a nice ring to it."
"*Puts couch down as emergency contact*"
"Knock Knock, ""Who's there?"" ""Gladiator"" ""Gladiator who?"" ""Gladiator, before going to the gang bang"""
"What did Sweet Potato Yahweh say? I yam that I yam."
"You have a donkey and I have a rooster. Your donkey eats my roosters legs. What do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."