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Joke of the Day

"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"

"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."

"Heroin really messed up my household... All the spoons are missing."

"What do you call a southern girl who runs faster than her brothers A virgin"

"What did the redditor do with the embarrassing naked picture he found of himself? Throwaway, for obvious reasons."

"Why is Antarctica controversial? It's a polarizing topic."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. (Get the reference?)"

"I could tell you a Chemistry joke .....but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction"

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"

"Why should jokes always be sent over TCP? Because you're assured that the recipient will get it. (Don't you DARE explain the joke in the comments)"