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Joke of the Day

"What is it called when a ship attacks their own navy? Edit: Whoops wrong sub."

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"

"The power of art = theory. The power of power = praxis. The the of the = philosophy."

"Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph."

"I go to a muscular dystrophy support group. We meet weakly."

"I swear if I see one more person enter this WalMart wearing pajamas I am going to take the belt off my bathrobe and choke them with it"

"Spent the day removing $550,000,000 worth of stuff from my Amazon shopping cart."

"What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas? You only get presents from one set of grandparents."

"My 8 year old brother's best joke. What animal will you always see at a resturant? A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic."

"Did you hear about the wooden car? Wooden move"