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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact: If you answer your phone, ""Christ speaking"", 70% of the callers will hang up on you. You're welcome."

"Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on."

"9 out of 10 people agree that it's weird to stand on top of the toilet and ask them survey questions over the stall wall."

"Scientists have discovered the number one food that kills a woman's sex drive Wedding cake"

"professor gave us a 2000 word essay... So I gave him two pictures."

"What came first...? Kid Flash or Flash's Dick?"

"Culturally no one in alaska dates in the winter. When asked why, one alaskan replied, ""We try, but its hard to break the ice."""

"Just realized that I'm finally too fat to do things during summer."

"Enjoy your animal shaped biscuits. Do not eat if seal is broken."

"I always wanted to run a pharmacy and put ""Seriously, TMI"" on all the receipts."