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Joke of the Day

"How does Lord Voldemort like his pussy? (whisper) HHAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY"

"Women hate it when you call them ma'am or sleep with their friends."

"I held a baby today. I was scared it would make me want a baby, but it just made me want to be a baby."

"I have a confession to make. I've been having sex with my staff. What's worse is I'm self employed!!!! Badaboom!"

"Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe? More doors."

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly a dick in your ass"

"Beef farmers in Washington are fighting to protect their cattle, whose water supply has been tainted with THC from the marijiana industry The steaks have never been higher"

"It is amazing how many problems you can solve by ignoring them."

"The opposite of a nightmare is a morningstallion."

"A scottish man walks out of a bar..."