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Joke of the Day

"what's the healthiest thing about eating a wheelchair? The vegetable."

"Which operetta make the Gorilla crack up? Nutty Marietta!"

"Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history? Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president"

"It's all fun and games until you realize you're the girl at work known as ""how is she still employed."""

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick into my girlfriend's ass."

"What's the difference between my computer and Paul Walker? I don't give a shit about Paul Walker crashing."

"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you do insult them you're already a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Well it's taken 10 years, but I've just finished my first book.... I think I will start reading another tomorrow.."

"Immediately after walking into a store with your spouse, stop, block the entrance, and discuss why you both came. It's all good. I'll wait."

"How do you torture Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it."