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Joke of the Day

"Well it's taken 10 years, but I've just finished my first book.... I think I will start reading another tomorrow.."

"I Swear, These Jell-o Products Just Keep Getting Worse... It's almost like they're pudding in less effort. I'll see myself out."

"I can't help but be disappointed at the brand new Rolex I received for my birthday from the lesbian couple next door. ... I think they misunderstood when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"I was an atheist Until I found out I was a sex god."

"What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common? They both used to be on top gear."

"Got busted for shoplifting once in Canada and had to deal with their whole irritating Good Cop/Great Cop routine."

"What do you call a bunch of Mexican Stoners? Baked Beans."

"What is a Germans favorite letter? I don't know but it's Nazi."

"Growing up is watching your parents morph from superheroes to ordinary people just trying to figure stuff out."

"My friend said he had 10 times more chicks than me Well 10 x 0 is 0."