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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the communist nymphomaniac? When the workers of the world united, they all got an equal part in her."

"""I want to swim with an overweight, rich white guy before I die."" - Dolphin bucket list."

"At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something."

"My Birthday For my birthday I asked for a bicycle, an action man, and a vibrating butt plug... I never got that bike."

"Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don't wanna have to explain why I'm in your 'Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am."

"Somebody told me to make an original wonderwall joke I said no"

"Him:I'm not going to use this taxi company again. They nearly killed me this morning Me:don't be so hasty darling...give them another chance"

"At the planetarium with my family. I think my wife was surprised to discover she's not the center of the universe."

"What do you get when you breed a rabbit with an elephant? A dead rabbit with a beat-up asshole."

"Fella goes to the house of ill repute. Lady meets him at the door and he asks ""how much""? ""$25"" she sezs. ""You gotta be putting me on"", sez Fella. ""No, that's another $5"" sez Lady."