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Joke of the Day

"You think YOUR economy is bad? Around here the hookers are giving free blowjobs just to get something hot on their bellys!"

"Did you hear about that proctologist who became an English teacher? Did you hear about the proctologist who became and English teacher? He specializes in teaching analogies."

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"I'm off to buy a 3-D printer. Which I'll use to make another 3-D printer. Then return the first one."

"I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours."

"Well, well, well. I guess my silver letter opener isn't so ""gaudy"" now that there's a rampaging werewolf in the house, is it, Gladys?"

"How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series? 2016."

"""I'd tap that."" - Morse code operatives flirting."

"What are the four fastest hands in the world? ...when it slips out."

"How do you make cultured milk? You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already."