52474

Joke of the Day

"[bank robbery] OK EVERYBODY GET DOWN! [dave starts doing the electric slide] Damn it Dave, not you, go grab the money"

"Doc Says: I got bad news and worst news... The test show that you have alzheimer's and Cancer.. Patient: well at least I don't have Cancer..."

"I asked my Sushi Chef what his favorite roll was. . he said payroll."

"What kind of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Denim denim denim."

"Why do they put fences around cemeteries? People are dying to get in."

"A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a salad The bartender says ""Sorry, we don't serve food here""."

"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell."

"How do you get two elephants into a refrigerator? You put the female in first, and the male will walk in and close the door. (As told by my Materials Science professor)"

"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"

"Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that."