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Joke of the Day

"RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Praying for telemarketers to call so I can experience human contact as I slowly dissolve into dust"

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? (Kinda dark) One's fun to smash with a hammer, the other is a delicious snack."

"I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance By putting it into reverse and fleeing the scene of the accident"

"What did the unimpressed wind turbine say? I'm not a fan."

"Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately."

"I burnt a lot of calories today... I set a fat kid on fire."

"Why do owners of muffler shops sleep so good at night? They're exhausted."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into someones ass"

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."

"What do you call Keanu Reeves when he served under Hitler? A Neo Nazi."