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Joke of the Day

"Man walks into a bakery Says to the baker ""I'd like to buy a wasp please."" The baker says ""Sir, we don't sell wasps."" The man replies ""Well there's one in your shop window!"""

"TIL Billy Mays served in the US military It wasn't for long though it was only 1999."

"My car's check engine light turned on, so I checked it. Yep, still there! Moving on."

"How much lube does the Hamburglar need to fuck his kinky girlfriend? About a quart to pound her with cheese."

"Hit 1,000 followers and a 100 star tweet on the same day! Do you know what that means?! 900 of you don't read my shit."

"Someone asked me when the narwhal bacons... ...my response was: ""huh?"""

"What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a girl. The knife has a point"

"Why did the blond climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side."

"If you guys need me I'll be strutting confidently through a parking lot toward a car that turns out not to be mine."

"There are only 10 type of people in this world... Those who understand binary and those who don't."