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Joke of the Day

"Aaron Hernandez He used to be a tight end, but prison will turn him into a wide receiver. ;)"

"[Witness Protection Program] So the more ordinary, mundane your new name is, the easier it'll be to blend into your new- BUBBLENUTS McFUNKY!"

"Did you hear? Viagra doesn't do anything for lawyers... It just makes them stand taller for a while"

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."

"I finally figured out why so few people still have fucks to give ! The gangster rappers stole the whole supply for their songs"

"Dear Middle Finger, Thanks for always sticking up for me."

"What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine? There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!"

"Policeman: Why were you driving around in circles and laughing? Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round."

"Since we're doing jokes in bad taste... What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."

"What would happen if James Bond took Viagra? He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all."