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Joke of the Day

"2 scientists walk into a bar... The first one says ""I'll have some H2O"", the second one says ""I'll have some H2O too"". The bartender looks at them and says ""Are you two idiots talking about water?"""

"There is a nudist convention on in town next week. I might go if I have nothing on."

"Perfect Date: 1) Get kids out of the house 2) Light some candles 3) Burn the house down 4) Collect the insurance 5) Take her somewhere nice"

"How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb? Tut-an-kham-en"

"I'm proud to be part of a generation that was once mesmerized by Lite-Brites but now complains if we can't stream HD video on our phones."

"How do you catch a one-of-a-kind rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit? The tame way."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you."

"What sets apart anal sex and regular sex? Regular sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your hole weak..."

"What does it mean when an accountant is drooling out of both sides of his mouth? His desk is level"

"So much traffic around the funeral home... I guess it's not a dying business."