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Joke of the Day

"Being a man means doing what I want, when I want, and not having to answer to anyone. This is my...shit she's coming. To be continued."

"When I see you, I'm a 10... On the [Mohs scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness#Minerals)."

"There's a new Starbucks opening down the street. I WONDER WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE."

"People of North Korea: Please stop asking Siri where the food is."

"This blizzard in NYC was just like my boyfriends penis lees than expected"

" Cat and tree a"

"If u love someone and they don't love u back the first thing you need to do is make them a scrapbook with you both in little wedding outfits"

"The wonderful world of Ironi ""Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought 'how typical' than looked down at my El Pollo Loco"" - Hispanic colleague"

"Did you recently date Taylor Swift, only to be dumped and have a song written about you? You may be entitled to compensation. Call now."

"Whenever a character in a book praises the cleverness of another character's idea, it's really just the author praising their own idea."