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Joke of the Day

"How does Optimus Prime stay young looking? Autobotulism"

"A Doe walks into a bar and keeps falling over because does can't walk for shit."

"After an argument with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory. I don't like to be spoken to in that tone of voice."

"The other day a man knocked on my door and asked me for a small donation towards the local swimming pool... I gave him a glass of water."

"I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin."

"What did the police officer want from the criminal store? Just ice."

"Dont look at my username. You looked, dint you? Dint I tell you not to? Dont you have any control? ANY control? You stoopid?.... Get it?"

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? ""Tennish"""

"Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon? Because he's a Wino-saur!"