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Joke of the Day
"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then a table, then a chair."
Next Joke
"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets."
"Did you hear Microsoft have started giving away Office free to parents? Word to your mother."
"[knock at door] Cop: open up, it's the police Me [doing an Estonian accent]: I'm not here Cop: are you in Estonia? Me: I am. I'm in Estonia"
"It's that time of year when it gets *just* cold enough to draw dicks on people's car windows."
"Being a baker is a great side-job... ...especially when I knead the dough."
"Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into."
"Being asked if you've read 50 Shades of Grey is like being asked if you've had steak at Applebees. You do know there's actual steakhouses?"
"I asked my wife what would be the best way to get rid of our son's hiccups. She said, ""Stick on your priest costume."""
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..."