52122

Joke of the Day

"Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women."

"What do Nazis do on a beach vacation? They ride on Adolf-in no? I'll see myself out."

"Feminism: because not all women can be beautiful."

"What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale? ""It was an absolute steal!"""

"I just dumped a pair of conjoined twins. I said, ""It's not you, it's you."""

"As a kid I always wanted to be a conductor ... Now I think it requires too much training."

"What happens if you steel? You have to get Alloy-er"

"I heard it took at least two elephants to make the keys on my antique piano I had no idea they were capable of such delicate work."

"Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting. Until you realize you live alone."

"Her: Sir, you account has been hacked. Me: Twitter? Her: No. Your Bank acc. Me: Ooooh Thank God."