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Joke of the Day

"Her: Sir, you account has been hacked. Me: Twitter? Her: No. Your Bank acc. Me: Ooooh Thank God."

"Why dont Asians go to the theaters? Because they always see widescreen!"

"If April showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring? Hundreds of years of disease and genocide."

"How to lose an argument with a woman: 1) Argue."

"Teacher: What is can't short for ? Pupil: Cannot miss Teacher: and what is don't short for Pupil: Doughnut !"

"Anyone wanna road trip to Tennessee? I hear Gatlinburg is pretty lit"

"I have blue eyes. I got them from my father. My mother has black eyes. She also got them from my father."

"What do you call a cow who is also a knight? Sir Loin."

"I'm so tired I could eat a horse."

"Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, ""I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"""