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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a meeting and a funeral? A funeral is a meeting where you're dead outside as well as in."

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"What do English pirates call each other? M80"
"I like winter.. ..it's cooler than summer"
"What is the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut is a girl who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a girl who sleeps with everyone **except you**!"
"How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt? A Terra Bite"
"A woman is on trial... ...for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. The judge asks, ""First offender?"" The lady replies, ""No your honor. First a Gibson then a Fender."" Edit: Grammar."
"""You're the bomb!"" ""No, you're the bomb!"" In America a compliment. In the Middle East an argument."
"Daisy: how are you Gatsby: great"
"People like to put words in your mouth, predictive-text likes to put words in your phone."
"Got involved in an alcohol-related pyramid scheme... What a champaign."
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