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Joke of the Day

"How do you catch a unique horse? Unique up on it."

"I wish my kid had a ""BAD MOTHERFUCKER"" tattoo so that when asked which one was mine I could say ""THE ONE THAT SAYS BAD MOTHERFUCKER ON IT!"""

"Why cant black people get PhD's? Because they can't get past their Masters."

"Hey baby are you a unbalanced equation? Because I think I need more of U! Edit 1: Also sorry for the bad grammar in the title sadly I cannot change it..."

"Hi. We noticed you Googled ""How do I keep IT from seeing my browser history"" yesterday at 3:21pm. How'd that work out for you?"

"What do you call an animal that goes through your trash and tells great stories? A raccoonteur."

"TRIVIA TIME: What flavor shake did Marty McFly get in the diner during the first Back To the Future movie? Parkinson's."

"Can someone wake me up when this nightmare is over? *lies on floor, closes eyes tight* (in customer service line at Walmart)"

"I miss lost brain cells the most when I can't find my car keys. Also, my car."

"Just finished my Sexual Violence Prevention and Awareness Training. It was very informative and I feel much safer. Plus I totally raped the quiz at the end, 100%."