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Joke of the Day

"Just watched a guy in a shirt that read ""Jedi I am"" trip on a curb and fall. Jedi you are not sir"

"If you sit on your hands 15 minutes before filling in an exam, it feels like somebody else is disappointing for your teacher. Edit: grammar"

"Whats the difference between children and lesbians? Children shouldn't run with scissors. Lesbians shouldn't scissor with the runs."

"My calling in life went straight to voicemail."

"What do you call a dog that is a magician? A Labara Cadabarador"

"What do your internal organs call their dating life? Their homie-hoe-status"

"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"

"Trying to stop my mate to stop using TV remote It's a bit of a joke to piss my mate off. :D apologies if this is a wrong subreddit."

"Have you heard about the recent wave of Saudi emmigration to Pennsylvania? No? Yeah, well it's quite big - there was even a popular documentary series on it... ""It's always Sunni in Philadelphia."""

"Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect? FLY, YOU FOOLS!"