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Joke of the Day

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"If a rabbit does not get any food for a week... ...he can swallow a whole python. If a rabbit does not get any food or sex for a week, the python will wish he were swallowed first."

"My phone died... There won't be any service."

"Daughter: Daddy, why do I have to go to bed so early? Me: Because we have had enough of you for today"

"If horses could talk I reckon they'd mostly just say 'Get off me'."

"What do you call a Spider-man that is a valet? A Peter Parker"

"Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles? So his wife won't get pregnant"

"When do you know that your career has gone south? When you end up moving to South Korea, of course!"

"Smartphone owners are the bravest. They're not afraid of anything not even death. They can walk into any running truck without giving a damn"

"How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb."