52052

Joke of the Day

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"

"Stealing candy from your kids is awesome... ...because you can justify your actions by stating that candy is not healthy for them. It's a win-win."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't."

"If you run in front of a car, you get tired. If you run behind a car, you get exhausted."

"*tries online dating* Oh...oh no *tries real life dating* Ok this is actually worse somehow"

"NSSSA -National Stutter Association."

"Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes? Because they're paid to."

"The penguin is mightier than the swordguin."

"Fun fact about the Saxophone: I'm lonely"

"I went for a ride on my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius. That would've gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."