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Joke of the Day

"Stealing candy from your kids is awesome... ...because you can justify your actions by stating that candy is not healthy for them. It's a win-win."

"So they were going to make a new CSI tv show in West Virginia... But they had to scrap production when they realized there were no dental records and all the DNA was the same."

"""Selfie"" has come to mean any photo of a person. At this rate, it will be the only word in the English language in 2023, meaning everything."

"Some days I think my mental health is coming along nicely, other days I'm vaguely jealous of turtles."

"What's 41 times 11? I can't find the answer anywhere."

"Why is it awkward to have sex with Jesus? He keeps saying ""Oooh Dad Ooooh Dad OOOH DAAAAD"""

"Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill areas. I'll show myself out"

"Why can't Chinese couples have caucasian babies? Because two wongs dont make a white"

"Marries a mime. Lives quietly ever after."

"Total shocker that you actually have to pay for things when you get to the register. Go ahead and dump your purse on the counter. We'll wait"