51990

Joke of the Day

"*stands on scanner at self checkout, weighing self after keying in mango code, just to see what net worth is in mangoes"

"I went to my local city's zoo. They had just one animal. A dog! It was a shit zu."

"""This is mine"", he growled passionately into her ear. ""Are we clear?"" Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn't try to eat his nachos again."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail last night? Yeah, there's a small medium at large!"

"I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said ""sank you."" So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that"

"Damn it's cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you're still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work tho"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ? Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !"

"You know what a vegetarian will never get? A Spam."

"Your momma is so stupid that she thinks Moby Dick is a venereal disease."

"Scientists have discovered that mothers are the driving force behind their children. Because Force = ma."