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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar ..and into a table and a chair."

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"When a woman cooks you dinner you're either going to get laid or poisoned."
"How do you get the water in a watermelon? Plant it in the spring."
"Why did the meme crossed the road A meme beme screme"
"Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk? It always had some sort of weed on it!"
"what do you mean you can't deliver pizza to a pillow fort"
"How is it that my kids can never find their own shoes but... Easily find the one ice cream sandwich I hid behind the peas in the freezer."
"""Madame, I will have your finest package of gum, and money is no object."" how I impressed the hot cashier at the gas station just now"
"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light-bulb? You can un-screw the light-bulb"
"I don't date because I have a very particular type Girls that like me"