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Joke of the Day

"When a woman cooks you dinner you're either going to get laid or poisoned."

"Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet... But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies Edit: Highest rated post! RIP inbox"

"John only wants to fuck virgins. He's such a cherry dicker"

"What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred."

"I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out ""stop it"" every 30 min"

"What do old women and cottage cheese have in common? They come in chunks."

"We used to call a girl at work 'turtle.' When she's on her back she's fucked."

"Why did the knife quit? It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! ~Skip"

"Jaded Prostitute & considerate leper What did the leper say to the prostitute? Stop me if you've heard this one"

"This popped into my head when I was half asleep. Figured I'd share. What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot? Her glitterus"