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Joke of the Day

"Buy a ticket to Finding Dory and yell ""She's right there!"" every time she comes on the screen until you're escorted out of the theater."

"Husband's early morning farts sound like they end with a question mark. The answer is ""No."""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"What type of blood does a keyboard have? Typo."

"What the difference between a hippo and a zippo A hippo is heavy, but a zippo is a little lighter."

"What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other? Irene"

"Chicken pot pie my three favorite things in life..."

"How did Geordi La Forge go blind? He turned on the UV light in the Holodeck."

"So my lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday... They got me a Rolex. I guess they misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can't remember long stories !"