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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama's so mean... She's got no standard deviation!"

"Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !"

"My therapist asked me if I ever black out because I drank to much alcohol. I responded ""Not that I can remember."""

"I know this is only our second date, but can I use your bathroom real quick? Her: Of course... *walks out 26 minutes later* Thanks."

"Once a month, women go completely crazy ...for about 30 days."

"My Grandpa has the heart of a Lion... And a lifetime ban from the San Diego zoo"

"REAL math joke At a party vectors V and W see vector V+W poking in his head and asking: ""Can I join?"". ""Yeah."", V and W reply; ""It's a closed party..."""

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling."

"I was involved in quite a violent mugging the other day. On the plus side I made a few bucks."