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Joke of the Day
"I was involved in quite a violent mugging the other day. On the plus side I made a few bucks."
Next Joke
"Lebron's life is like one big compass... He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West."
"What did the Asian guy say about all the recent celebrity deaths? They're dropping like Freys!"
"What does a Syrian refugee and an American abortion have in common? White people didn't allow them to come into the U.S."
"I asked a blonde, ""How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?"" She answered, ""Two. But they can't fit inside a light bulb to screw in it, silly."""
"Bert is walking with Albert through the park and says, ""I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."" Albert says, ""What's the name of his other leg?"""
"Lincoln cars can't turn left. They're all right, all right, all riiiggghhht"
"An owl and a mouse are sitting on a branch when a farmer walks by below. The owl turns to the mouse and says nothing. Because owls can't speak. The owl then eats the mouse because it's a bird of prey."
"What do you call a kid with no arms or legs at the front door? Matt."
"If your rice accidentally gets wet, you can dry it out overnight by placing it in a bowl of cellphones."