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Joke of the Day

"My mom once told me.... ....the only way I'll ever get laid is if I crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"I'm so poor... I can't even **pay** attention"

"I can't believe Lou Gehrig's parents named him after a DISEASE"

"If a road runs parallel to a river, there's probably a bridge nearby. No reason to cross five lanes of traffic, Frogger, you dumbshit."

"Why was the killer's watch arrested? Because it was proven to be accessory to murder."

"Grandma walks into a butcher's shop Grandma: ""Hi, I'd like to buy one baloney."" Butcher: ""Pre-sliced or in one piece?"" Grandma lifts her skirt and says: ""Does this look like a CD player to you?"""

"It's a fucking frisbee. Stop trying to make a sport out of it."

"Why did the rooster cross the road? To show he wasn't a chicken."

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"A hipster burnt his tongue Drinking coffee before it was cool."