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Joke of the Day

"What did captain Kirk do in the head? He Shatner."

"At which place do mostly all men and women have curly hair? Namibia... but i like the way you think ( )"

"Sure I'll send you a shirtless selfie. Just let me work out for 6 months real quick."

"What do you call an immoral lesbian citizen of Rivendell who hosts a talk-variety show and lacks character? An elven degenerate."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me ""Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace"" So I bought her nothing."

"""I want u so badly"" - Scrabble players with a q in their rack."

"Red cross: would you like to volunteer to give blood? Me: oh, no thank you, I already involuntarily give blood 5 days out of the month"

"What has 9 arms and 10 legs? A Def Leppard."

"two guy's are sitting on the front porch in the yard they see a dog licking his balls one say's to the other do you think I could do that? his buddy says maybe but I think you should pet him first"

"I almost had a threesome last night, All I needed was two more women."