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Joke of the Day

"what is the key to picking up girls who are musicians? get a flat and be sharp"

"Imagine a world not only without sex but where there is the constant threat that a stork will just drop a fucking baby off at your house."

"I talk a lot. Your happiness will depend on your ability to figure out what matters and what doesn't. Good luck. - Women"

"What did the dog say to the pig? ""You are such a bore."""

"Whats long and green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger."

"I finally found out how Asians have an upper hand in video games! Squint your eyes. You see much better, right? Well Asians eyes are always squinted!"

"did you write ""call Gary in HR for lots of really disappointing and hairy sex"" on the bathroom stall? [wearing my ""I hate gary"" tshirt]: no"

"Man, Helen Keller would have been fun to party with. She's always blacked out."

"A tattered rope walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey, are you a lasso?"" The rope replies, ""Sorry, I'm a frayed knot."""

"You guys wanna hear a joke? Lil Wayne"