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Joke of the Day
"Hey, NSA, if you're going to read them, would it kill you to star them?"
Next Joke
"Why did the melons have a big wedding? Well, they cantaloupe"
"What do you call a fishing prostitute A Hooker"
"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANES! When do we want them?! NEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!"
"Reasons to keep spiders around 1. Eat flying insects 2. Occasional source of protein during sleep 3. We make rad webs 4. They do i mean they"
"When I was young I was so poor I had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat"
"This man recorded his son every day for a decade. The footage is breathtaking and takes 10 years to watch."
"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power"
"We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control."
"[speed dating] DATE: ding ME: did u just make the ding sound with ur mouth DATE: no ME: we have 4 minutes left DATE: *louder this time* ding"