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Joke of the Day
"When I was young I was so poor I had to jerk off the dog to feed the cat"
Next Joke
"If a guy says you're hot, he's looking at your body. If he says you're pretty, he's looking at your face... If he says you're fabulous, he's looking at your brother"
"Did you hear that Alexander Graham Bell got fired from the theatre? He was always phoning it in."
"Computers and my spouse are very similar in some ways. If ever there is something wrong, it's probably my fault."
"What do you call a japanese homeless guy? Tokyo Drifter"
"Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year"
"I once swallowed a piece of string and it came out tied. I shit you knot."
"Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was out standing in his field"
"Q: What does Clinton do to lose weight? A: Runs away from the draft."
"War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord."