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Joke of the Day

"Me: !!Ugh!! YOUR DAMN DOG IS STARING AT ME AGAIN! Him: Just ignore him. Me: I'm trying! Him: I was talking to the dog..."

"I shouldn't play with Legos? It says ""Ages 7 & Up"". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class."

"TIL it's possible to jump without a parachute from the top of the Grand Canyon all the way to the bottom. But not twice."

"""Let's just kill ALL the characters"" -Game of Thrones"

"What's a dish best served cold? Air condish."

"Did you hear about the group of geologists? They formed a Rock Band."

"Why do Mexicans make tamales for Christmas? To have something to unwrap."

"Why is a creative writing workshop the first step when training to become a firefighter? Prose before Hose"

"To be used as an insult or a pick up line for a heavy set woman- ""You don't need to lose weight, you need to gain bone."""

"Hey venus flytrap got you a treat how bout a big ol juicy bug open your mouth..BOOM THATS A MILK DUD you're a plant you eat sunlight idiot"