135078

Joke of the Day

"""Let's just kill ALL the characters"" -Game of Thrones"

"Why should everyone go to the dentist at least once every ten years? Because of tooth decade!"

"It blows my mind that people walk around acting like Steve Harvey won't jump out from behind a bush at any moment & murder them."

"You think I'm over dramatic? When an octopus gets upset, it eats itself. THAT'S over dramatic."

"My girlfriend might not be the sharpest girl around. I accidentally left my phone at her house last night. I went back over to get it and saw she had texted me 5 times telling me I forgot it."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani military post and a Pakistani elementary school? Beats me, I just man the drone."

"I don't mind if you tell me about the new diet you're on as long as you give me equal time to talk with you about my favorite doughnuts."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks ""why the long face""? The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor and leaves"

"Here's my favorite limerick. There once was a man from Nantuckett Whose dick was so long he could suck it Wiping cum from his chin He said with a grin If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

"A stallion with a smoking habit kidnaps hookers. So basically a hoarse horse hoards whores."