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Joke of the Day

"The key to Simon & Garfunkel's success was that one was big and one was small. Before, duos were always the same size. They changed the game"

Next Joke
 
"FRIEND WHO JUST RECEIVED MAGICAL POWERS: idk what I should do first FRIEND WHO IS TRAPPED IN AN OIL PAINTING FOR SOME REASON: I have an idea"
"ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?"
"I had sex for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings!"
"A donkey, a calf and a foal walk into a bar... Its not a joke, it really happened in Melbourne not that long ago"
"Two cannibals are eating Amy Schumer One turns to the other and asks, ""*does this taste funny to you?*"" The other responds, ""*no.*"""
"What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg? Limp Biscuit"
"Just tried to even up my sideburns and now I'm a hairless cat."
"If you're afraid of public speaking, just imagine everyone in the audience is on their phones not listening to you anyway."
"North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When everyone knows that America is the best country in the world."