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Joke of the Day

"A donkey, a calf and a foal walk into a bar... Its not a joke, it really happened in Melbourne not that long ago"

"I'm not playing hard to get. I'm playing leave me the fuck alone."

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side"

"*crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler"

"It's weird that 'coward' doesn't mean ""towards a cow"". *sips wine*"

"If smoking is bad for you... Why does it cure salmon?"

"Cop: ""Sir, what's in the bottle next to you? Me: ""It's water"" Cop: ""Sir, this is wine"" Me: ""What? Jesus! He did it again!"""

"What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult."

"A lady goes into the dry cleaners Lady: ""I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"" The Clerk: ""Come again?"" Lady: ""No, this time it's just yogurt"""

"People say I'm a completely different person when I'm drunk so technically I'm proud to say I never cheated before!"