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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Jesus like M&Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles."

"If you crush a cockroach, you're a hero. If you crush a beautiful butterfly, you're a villain. Morals have aesthetic criteria."

"How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?"

"What did the hungry whale do? He bit the tail off a submarine and sucked out all the seamen."

"Imagine the most awkward thing you've ever experienced & it pales in comparison to watching me try to pass someone walking."

"Vampires are lost souls cause they can't just stop one day and look in the mirror and be like ""What am I doing with my life."""

"I wish all black men were like unicorns... gay."

"I had to quit the massage business. I kept rubbing people the wrong way."

"Did you hear about the prison breakout yesterday? Those prison guards should have used ProActiv."

"I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight."