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Joke of the Day

"When asked about hobbies, don't start lap dancing. #jobinterviewfail"

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"The funniest joke I have EVER seen on /r/funny You."
"Who is always your friend at school? Your princi-pal."
"For all the bad things that happened this year I sure did get fat."
"When Jerry Seinfeld dies... I really hope his tombstone says: *Jerry Seinfeld 1954 yadda yadda yadda 20XX*"
"Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app... called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area."
"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number. Edit: I get it, this joke is just too far-fetched for you mainstreamers to understand."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" The horse responds, ""Because my daughter just died of leukemia."""
"I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you."
"I had a joke about erectile dysfunction... But I knew you guys wouldn't be up for it."